Artemis Fowl
From Wikiquote
Artemis Fowl is a series of fantasy novels written by Irish author Eoin Colfer. They star child criminal mastermind Artemis Fowl.
Contents |
[edit] Artemis Fowl
- Artemis: I prefer scared to dead. If possible.
- Foaly: Anyone see you come in here?
- Holly: The FBI, CIA, NSA, DEA, MI6. Oh, and the EIB.
- Foaly: The EIB?
- Holly: (smirking) Everyone in the building.
- (Juliet raises her hand after a briefing by Artemis)
- Artemis: Yes?
- Juliet: Well, the thing is, Artemis...the bit about leprechauns...
- Artemis: Your point, Juliet?
- Juliet: You know they're not real, don't you?
- Artemis: Butler hasn't already talked to you about this?
- Juliet: No. Was he supposed to?
- Artemis: Yes, he certainly was. Perhaps he thought you'd laugh at him.
- (Butler squirms)
- Artemis: Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist and that I am not a gibbering moron.
- Artemis: If I win I'm a prodigy. If I lose then I'm mad. That is the way history was written.
- Artemis: That Japanese whaler. The one seized by the port authorities. Is she still tied up at the docks?
- Butler: Yes, I believe so.
- Artemis: Good. Take us there. I believe it's time to let our diminutive friends know exactly who they're dealing with.
[edit] Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident
- Artemis: (shocked) Why, Doctor? This is a sensitive area. For all you know I could be suffering from depression.
- Doctor Po: I suppose you could. Is that the case?
- Artemis: (head in hands) It's my mother, Doctor.
- Doctor Po: Yes?
- Artemis: My mother, she...
- Doctor Po: Your mother, yes?
- Artemis: She forces me to endure this ridiculous therapy when the school's so-called counsellors are little better than misguided do-gooders with degrees.
- Butler: (drawing his pistol) Do we wait until we see the whites of their eyes, Commander?
- Root: Goblin eyes don't have whites.
- Foaly: You see, Mud Boy, goblins are stupid. I'm not insulting them. It's a proven fact. Brains no bigger than rats. One of the Goblin's generals, and this is their top fairy, was caught trying to pass off a forged credit card by signing his own name.
[edit] Artemis Fowl: The Eternity Code
- Spiro: (knocking over a salt cellar) Check and mate. My game, kid.
- Juliet: (leaning over Pex) Hey, guess what? You're not supposed to deep-fry sushi!
- Root: Goblins. Evolution's little joke. Take the dumbest creatures under the earth and give them the power to conjure fire.
- Artemis: I never tell anybody exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.
- Artemis: (to Spiro) About my name- Artemis- you were right. In London, it is generally a female name, after the Greek goddess of archery. But every now and then a male comes along with such a talent for hunting that he earns the right to use the name. I am that male. Artemis the Hunter. I hunted you.
[edit] Artemis Fowl: The Opal Deception
- Root: (last words) Be well.
- Opal: Please don't look directly at the viewscreen - it's very bad for my skin.
- Artemis: (treats Ark Sool to his most scornful gaze) Congratulations, Commander, you have managed to alienate the LEP's finest officer.
- Ark Sool: Listen here, human...
- Butler: (growls)
- Ark Sool: (Steps behind the larger officer he brought) Send them home. Now.
- Officers: (draw their sidearms, aim and fire tranquilizers. One hits Artemis' neck and he passes out. They hit Butler with four, not taking any chances)
- Jerbal Argon: Sorry, I panicked. If we lost Koboi, the clinic would never live it down. I'm just a little paranoid, I suppose. Faces can be changed, but...
- Merv and Scant: (together) ...DNA never lies
- Grub Kelp: I think Doctor Argon needs a little vacation.
- Root: (Nodding approvingly to Holly) Now you're thinking like a Major. We're not expendable. So what are our options, Trouble?
- Trouble: If you don't go in, many will die. If you do, you might.
- Root: Not a nice set of options. Don't you have anything good to tell me?
- Holly: Seven and a half hours to save the world. Isn’t there some law that says we get twenty-four?
- Opal: My truffles? You took them? That's just mean!
[edit] Artemis Fowl: The Lost Colony
- N°1: I am Number One - not a very good name, I know, but I console myself with the fact that it's better than Number Two.
- Beau: I hope it's sugar free chocolate. Because daddy says God knows I'm hyper enough without sugar.
- Mulch: (checks the packet and sees that it is 18% sugar) Yep. Sugar free.
- Foaly: Caballine likes me to be masterful. She calls me her stallion.
- Holly: What color is the uniform?
- Foaly: Matte black.
- Holly: I'm in.
