COPS

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COPS (1989 - present), a long-running reality television program on the FOX network.

[edit] Introduction

Announcer: (From Season 11 through 18) Due to the graphic nature of this program, viewer discretion is advised.

Announcer: (Since Season 19) Viewer discretion is advised.

Announced just before the COPS logo, which appears at the end of the opening montage, in every episode.

Announcer Harry Newman: COPS is filmed on location with the men and women of law enforcement. All suspects are innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.

Announcer Harry Newman: (Until the end of Season 2) COPS is filmed on location as it happens. All suspects are considered innocent until proven guilty in a court of law.

[edit] Closing Credits

Announced at the beginning of the closing credits, in every episode.

Policewoman: 132 and Bush, I've got him at gunpoint.

Dispatcher: Roger, 132 and Bush, cover is code 3.

(Until the end of Season 2)

Policewoman:Got a white t-shirt on, white short pants, medium complexion.

Dispatcher: 23, have any location?

[edit] Unknown Episode

Detective Geno Falcone (Las Vegas, NV)" So I'm watchin' the Bulls game...tight game...I hear some scufflin', some carryin' on outside...I grab my gun and my cuffs, I say 'Debbie call the cops'...found this guy attacking that guy, the least credible one I handcuffed...aaaaaand that was that!

Officer: Good job!

Detective Geno Falcone(after a botched "high-five" with the officer): Take care.

Officer: Well, you're going to jail for, um...burglary.

Suspect: Burglary? What did I burglarize?

Officer: That man's house!

Suspect: How?

Officer: I wasn't there, you tell me!

Burglary victim: I was asleep in the back, right? And I heard the glass break, so I said 'shit, somebody's in the house!'. So I sat up and yelled 'Hey, hey, hey, somebody's in the house! Somebody's in the house! And when I got up and came out here, I saw the guy running out so I yelled 'Hey hey! Somebody in the house!"

Officer (Las Vegas, NV) What do you do for a living, sir?

Prostitution sting suspect: Well, right now I'm....(incredulous) I'm sellin' a truck!

Officer (Las Vegas, NV): Now I don't want to see you again.

Prostitution sting suspect: Well, you're gonna have to see me in court!

Officer: I won't have to be there, sir.

Prostitution sting suspect: Yeah well....I meant the police department. This is a bad bust guys, that's all I'm sayin'.

Female suspect (Atlanta, GA): You're messin' with my life and you're messin' with my son's life. and when you mess with my children's life, you're dead! Your whole family's dead!

Female suspect: Y'all are just gonna have to load me up in the paddy wagon.

Officer: What about the weapon we found outside?

Suspect (elderly, very angry): What weapon?! Does it have my name on it?!!

Officer: No sir, we found it outside your home in the front yard.

Suspect: Oh, goody two-shoes for you!!!

Policeman (Fresno S.O.): Now the reason I suspect you of possession of narcotics is this --

[Officer removes a marijuana joint from behind the suspect's ear.]

Suspect: You're pretty good..!

Policeman: [over COPS logo bumper] Never ceases to amaze me...

Roll-call sergeant (Boston P.D.): OK, to lighten things up a bit, anyone got a joke they wanna tell?

Policeman: If you don't stay still, we will have to use pepper spray on you.

Drunk Suspect: Pepper? What the fuck is that? You can't do that. I'm allergic to pepper. It makes me sneeze.

Officer Rick Benson: [about a suspect] Goony as a road lizard.

Drunk Suspect: I am not a black male.

Policeman: I didn't say you were--

Drunk Suspect: [interrupts, shouts] I'm a white male!

Drunk Suspect: You ever seen Cujo?

Policeman: Sit down on the ground.

Drunk Suspect: Cujo bit me. I seen that dog.

Policeman: A dog attacked you?

Drunk Suspect: [imitating a dog] Bark, bark.

Suspect: Why am I bein' arrested?

Policeman: [breathing heavily after a foot chase] For bein' stupid!

Suspect: You know, if I wanted to, these handcuffs couldn't stop me from taking you all outta here with a kungju jitsu flip trick

Policeman: A what?

Suspect: A kung Ju Jitsu Flip Trick

Squad leader plays a sloppy radio transmission.

Squad Leader: I will castrate the next person that does that.

Suspect repeatedly gets calls on cellular telephone, deputy finally answers phone.

Deputy: You can stop calling now; he's going to jail.

[edit] External Links

Wikipedia has an article about:

COPS (TV series)

• Cops quotes at the Internet Movie Database
• COPS at TV.com