Grey's Anatomy

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Grey's Anatomy (2005-) is a primetime television medical drama, airing on ABC, that follows Meredith Grey, a first-year surgical intern, and her fellow interns as they struggle to become doctors.

Contents

[edit] Season 1

[edit] A Hard Day's Night [1.1]

Bailey: I have five rules. Memorize them. Rule number one, don't bother sucking up. I already hate you, that's not going to change.
Burke: The only person that can keep a promise that big is God, and I haven't seen him holding a scalpel lately.
Meredith: Dr. Shepherd.
Derek: Dr. Shepherd? This morning I was Derek, now it's Dr. Shepherd.
Meredith: Dr. Shepherd we should pretend it never happened.
Derek: What never happened? You sleeping with me last night? Or you throwing me out this morning? Because both are fond memories I'd like to hang on to.
Meredith: No, there will be no more memories. I'm not the girl in the bar anymore and you're not the guy. This can't exist. You get that, right?
Derek: You took advantage of me and now you want to forget it?
Meredith: I did not take—
Derek: I was drunk, vulnerable and good looking and you took advantage.
Meredith: Okay, I was the one who was drunk and you are NOT that good looking.
Derek: Maybe not today, but last night I was very good looking. I had on my red shirt, my good looking shirt and you took advantage.
Meredith: I did not!
Derek: Would you like to take advantage again, say Friday night?
Meredith: No! You're an attending and I'm your intern! Stop looking at me like that.
Derek: Like what?
Meredith: Like you've seen me naked.
Meredith: I wish I wanted to be a chef, or a ski instructor, or a kindergarten teacher.
George: You know, I would have been a really good postal worker. I'm dependable.
Meredith: [chuckles]
George: You know, my parents tell everyone they meet that their son's a surgeon. As if it's a big accomplishment. Superhero or something... If they could see me now.
Meredith: When I told my mother I wanted to go to medical school, she tried to talk me out of it. Said I didn't have what it takes to be a surgeon, that I'd never make it. So the way I see it, superhero sounds pretty damn good.
Meredith: [voiceover] I can't think of a single reason why I should be a surgeon, but I can think of a thousand reasons why I should quit. They make it hard on purpose. There are lives in our hands. There comes a moment when it's more than just a game, and you either take that step forward or turn around and walk away. I could quit but here's the thing, I love the playing field.
Cristina:Katie competes in beauty paegents.
Derek:I know but we have to save her anyway

[edit] The First Cut is the Deepest [1.2]

Meredith: [voiceover] It's all about lines. The finish line at the end of residency, waiting in line for a chance at the operating table, and then there’s the most important line, the line separating you from the people you work with. It doesn’t help to get too familiar, to make friends. You need boundaries, between you and the rest of the world. Other people are far too messy. It’s all about lines. Drawing lines in the sand and praying like hell no one crosses them.
Bailey: Every intern wants to perform their first surgery. That's not your job. Do you know what your job is? To make your resident happy. Do I look happy? No! Why? Because my interns are whiny. You know what will make me look happy? Having the code team staffed, having the trauma pages answered, having the weekend labs delivered and having someone down in the pit doing the sutures. No one holds a scalpel until I'm so happy I'm Mary Freakin' Poppins.
George: Who here feels like they have no idea what they're doing?
[Everyone raises their hands]
Burke: Anything you say in the next 30 seconds is free...starting right now.
Bailey: I think you’re cocky. Arrogant. Bossy and pushy. You also have a god complex and don’t think of anybody but your damn self.
Burke: But I—
Bailey: But what? I still have 22 seconds and I’m not done.
Meredith: [voiceover] At some point you have to make a decision. Boundaries don't keep other people out; they fence you in. Life is messy, that's how we're made. So you can waste your life drawing lines or you can live your life crossing them. But there are some lines that are way too dangerous to cross. Here's what I know, If you're willing to take a chance, the view from the other side is spectacular.
Cristina: (to George) Bambi, don't talk to me until after the hunter shoots your mother.

[edit] Winning a Battle, Losing the War [1.3]

Meredith: [voiceover] We live out our lives on the surgical unit. Seven Days a week, fourteen hours a day, we're together more than we are apart. After a while, the ways of residency becomes the ways of life. Number one : Always keep score. Number two: do whatever you can to outsmart the other guy. Number three: Don't make friends with the enemy. Oh, yeah, Number four: Everything, everything is a competition. Whoever said winning wasn't everything ... Never held a scalpel.
Burke: [to Cristina and Meredith] This is a men's room. Either whip one out, or close the door.
Meredith: [about her new roommates, George and Izzie] They're everywhere. All the time. Izzie's all perky and George does this thing where he's helpful and considerate. They share food, and they say things, and they move things, and they breathe. Ugh, they're like, happy.
Cristina: Kick them out.
Meredith: I can't kick them out, they just moved in. I asked them to move in.
Cristina: So what, you're just going to repress everything in some deep, dark, twisted place until one day you snap and you kill them?
Meredith: Yep.
Cristina: This is why we are friends.
Meredith: You're just pissed that two women got the harvest.
Alex: I'm just pissed that anyone except me got the harvest. Boobs in no way factor into this...Unless you want to show me yours.
Meredith: I'm going to become a lesbian.
Cristina: Me too.
Meredith: [voiceover] There's another way to survive this competition. A way no one ever seems to tell you about. One you have to learn for yourself. Number five: It's not about the race at all. There are no winners or losers. Victories are counted by the number of lives saved. And once in a while, if you're smart, the life you save could be your own.

[edit] No Man's Land [1.4]

Meredith: [voiceover] Intimacy is a four syllable word for "Here is my heart and soul, please grind them into hamburger, and enjoy." It's both desired, and feared. Difficult to live with, and impossible to live without. Intimacy also comes attached to the three R's... relatives, romance, and roommates. There are some things you can't escape. And other things you just don't want to know.
Alex: Morning, Dr Model.
Izzie: Dr. Evil Spawn.
Alex: Ooh, nice tat. Do they airbrush that out for the catalogs?
Izzie: I don't know. What do they do for the 666 on your skull?
Izzie: Tampons, George, I just really needed some tampons!
George: I forgot when I got there.
Izzie: No. [She opens the shower door] No, you are so passive aggressive!
George: Naked! I am naked in the shower!
Izzie: [closes the shower door] Just tampons, George! I really needed tampons. God!
[Meredith walks in]
Izzie: I'm not riding in the same car as him.
Meredith: [looks at Izzie, who is standing in her underwear] Unless you're going like that, you're not riding with me either. Where are the tampons?
Izzie: He didn't buy them.
Meredith: [to George] You didn't buy them?
George: Men don't buy tampons!
Izzie: [opens the shower door again, and George falls over] You know what? You're gonna have to get over the whole man thing, George! We're women! We have vaginas! Get used to it!
George: [lying on the floor in the bathtub] I am not your sister!
Cristina: [to Izzie] You are eight feet tall. Your boobs are perfect. Your hair is down to there. If I was you I would just walk around naked all the time. I wouldn't have a job, I wouldn't have any skills, I wouldn't even know how to read. I would just be...naked.
Izzie: It's makeup. It's retouching.
Cristina: You get that we hate you, right?
Meredith: [voiceover] I wish there were a rulebook for intimacy. Some kind of guide to tell you when you've crossed the line. It would be nice if you could see it coming, and I don't know how you fit it on a map. You take it where you can get it, and keep it as long as you can. And as for rules, maybe there are none. Maybe the rules of intimacy are something you have to define for yourself.

[edit] Shake Your Groove Thing [1.5]

Meredith: [voiceover] Remember when you were a kid and your biggest worry was, like, if you'd get a bike for your birthday or if you'd get to eat cookies for breakfast? Being an adult? Totally overrated. I mean seriously, don't be fooled by all the hot shoes and the great sex and the no parents anywhere telling you what to do. Adulthood is responsibility. Responsibility, it really does suck. Really, really sucks. Adults have to be places and do things and earn a living and pay the rent. And if you're training to be a surgeon, holding a human heart in your hands, hello? Talk about responsibility. Kind of makes bikes and cookies look really, really good, doesn't it? The scariest part about responsibility? When you screw up and let it slip right through your fingers.
George: Who else did you invite?
Cristina: Izzie, we said the list was jocks only. Surgery, Trauma, Plastics. Who else?
Izzie: Just some people from Peds.
Cristina: You invited the preschoolers to Meredith’s house? The next thing you’ll say is you invited the shrinks. [Izzie looks away] She invited mental defects. This party’s DOA.
Meredith: We're adults. When did that happen? And how do we make it stop?
Meredith: [Meredith, George and Cristina are drinking and playing cards] Why did we want to be surgeons anyway?
George: Surgery is very serious business
[Cristina burps loudly. She has two cards stuck to her face]
George: Full House
Cristina: [To George] Royal flush. Get naked. Baby boy!
Meredith: Surgery is stupid. It's stupid.
Cristina: [Sings to George, as his strips] Sexy, you're so sexy. [Taking the bottle from Meredith] Give me that; you're drunk.
Meredith: I'm not driving. I'm not on call. I'm in my own house. My life is crap. And it's my party and I'll get drunk if I want to.
Derek: [To Meredith] So, you blew me off for a bottle of tequila. Tequila's no good for you, doesn't call, doesn't write, not nearly as much fun to wake up to.
Meredith: [voiceover] Responsibility, it really does suck. Unfortunately, once you get past the age of braces and training bras, responsibility doesn't go away. It can't be avoided. Either someone makes us face it or we suffer the consequences. And still adulthood has it perks. I mean the shoes, the sex, the no parents anywhere telling you what to do. That's, pretty damn good.

[edit] If Tomorrow Never Comes [1.6]

Meredith: [voiceover] A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. “Never leave that till tomorrow,” he said, “Which you can do today.” This is the man who discovered electricity. You’d think more of us would listen to what he had to say. I don’t know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I’d say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure. Fear of pain. Fear of rejection. Sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you’re wrong? What if you make a mistake you can’t undo? Whatever it is we're afraid of, one thing holds true: that by the time the pain of not doing the thing gets worse than the fear of doing it, it can feel like we're carrying around a giant tumor. And you thought I was speaking metaphorically.
Derek: Miranda.
Bailey: Excuse me?
Derek: Well, that's your name right? It's on your jacket. Fine, I'll just call you Bailey then.
Bailey: You know, you think you're charming, in that talented, neurotic, overly moussed hair sort of way. Good for you. But if you think I'm gonna stand back and watch while you favor her...
Derek: I don't favor her. She's good.
Bailey: I'm sure she is.
Derek: You know, can I point out, technically, I'm your boss.
Bailey: You don't scare me. Look, I'm not gonna advertise your extracurricular activities with my intern. However next time I see you favoring Meredith Grey in any way, I'll make sure she doesn't see the inside of an OR. For a month. Just for the sake of balance!
Izzie: [to a patient after he throws up on Alex] You are so my favorite person today.
Meredith: [voiceover] The early bird catches the worm; a stitch in time saves nine. He who hesitates is lost. We can't pretend we haven't been told. We've all heard the proverbs, heard the philosophers, heard our grandparents warning us about wasted time, heard the damn poets urging us to ‘seize the day'. Still sometimes we have to see for ourselves. We have to make our own mistakes. We have to learn our own lessons. We have to sweep today's possibility under tomorrow's rug until we can't anymore, until we finally understand for ourselves like Benjamin Franklin meant. That knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping. And that even the biggest failure, even the worst most intractable mistake beats the hell out of never trying.

[edit] The Self Destruct Button [1.7]

Meredith: [voiceover] OK. Anyone who says you can sleep when you die, tell them to come talk to me after a few months as an intern. Of course, it's not just the job that keeps us up all night. I mean, if life's so hard already, why do we bring more trouble down on ourselves? What's up with the need to hit the self-destruct button?
George: You get any sleep?
Izzie: She should oil the bedsprings, as a courtesy, or at least buy a padded headboard.
George: So, who's the guy?
Izzie: You think it was just one guy doing all that work?
George: Do you mind if I don't think about that?
Izzie: Aw, you jealous?
George: I'm not jealous.
Izzie: Well, I am. Least I know she'll be having a long day at work. [They see Derek leave] Well, at least we know brain surgery isn't his only skill.
George: Yang. I'm scrubbing in on a hemospherectomy with Shepherd.
Cristina: [gasp] Get out! I would kill for that.
George: We're cutting out half the girl's brain, and it's going to work. It's outrageous. Almost makes it kind of hard to hate him.
Cristina: Why do you hate him?
George: Oh, no reason.
Cristina: Oh, you know about him and Meredith?
George: You know?
Cristina: When are you gonna figure out that I know everything?
George: [To Izzie who is walking up the stairs] She knows.
Izzie: Oh, about doctorcest?
Cristina: It's been going on for, like, ever.
Izzie: Seriously?
George: And you didn't tell us?
Cristina: Oh, you're a gossip, huh?
George: I am not!
Izzie: I am!
George: He's about to go into major brain surgery on no sleep? That's not very responsible.
Cristina: Jealous? Sex all night isn't about being responsible.
Izzie: No, it's about sex all night. I can't believe you're not pissed off about this, you of all people.
Cristina: Well, she works hard all day. She's good at her job, why should you care how she unwinds? I mean you like to bake all night, others like to drink, others like an occasional screaming orgasm.
Alex: [Walking up] Yeah we do.
Meredith: You don't know this yet, but life isn’t supposed to be like this. It’s not supposed to be this hard.
Meredith: [voiceover] Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know, maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.

[edit] Save Me [1.8]

Meredith: [voiceover]You know when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales? That fantasy of what your life would be – white dress, prince charming who’d carry you away to a castle on a hill. You’d lie in your bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, prince charming –they were so close you could taste them. But eventually you grow up and one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is, it’s hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely because almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope and faith that one day they would open their eyes and it would all come true.
Derek: I'm a surgeon, I don't have any friends.
...
Meredith: [Wanting more details about Derek's life] I want facts, and until I get them, my pants are staying on.
Derek: Or you could just roll with it, be flexible. See what happens.
Meredith: I'm not flexible.
Derek': [laughs] Now there I disagree...We'll find these things out. That's the fun part, you know? That's the gravy.
Cristina: Dr. Bailey, I want off the psychic case, I'll take whatever you've got. Can I switch?
Bailey: Ask nicely.
Cristina: What— this is me doing nicely.
George: How’s a pompous cocky jackass like you always have women all over him?
Alex: Little bluebell pills. Lots of them.
George: Oh c'mon.
Alex: Float like a butterfly sting like a bee. O'Malley, you think too much, can’t you see it? You gotta dance and jab, dance and jab! Like me. I am the Ali of this place.
Meredith: [voiceover] At the end of the day, faith is a funny thing. It turns up when you don't really expect it. Its like one day you realize that the fairy tale may be slightly different than you dreamed. The castle, well, it may not be a castle. And its not so important, happy ever after, just that its happy right now. See once in a while, once in a blue moon, people will surprise you, and once in a while people may even take your breath away.

Derek:[To Merideth] I'm gonna tell you. All right. My mother's maiden name, Maloney. I have four sisters. I have, uh, nine nieces. Five nephews. I like coffee ice cream, single-malt scotch, occasionally a good cigar. I like to fly fish. And I cheat when I do the crossword puzzle on Sunday. And I never dance in public. Um, favorite novel: The Sun Also Rises. Favorite band: The Clash. My favorite color is blue. I don't like light blue, indigo. The scar right here on my forehead, that's why I don't ride motorcycles anymore. And I live in that trailer. All this land is mine. I have no idea what I'm gonna do with it. So that's it. That's all you've earned for now. The rest you're just...just gonna have to take on faith

[edit] Who's Zoomin' Who? [1.9]

Meredith: [voiceover] Secrets can't hide in science. Medicine has a way of exposing lies. Within the walls of the hospital, the truth is stripped bare. How we keep our secrets outside the hospital – well, that’s a little different. One thing is certain, whatever it is we're trying to hide; we're never ready for that moment when the truth gets naked. That's the problem with secrets – like misery, they love company. They pile up and up until you don't have room for anything else, until you're so full of secrets you feel like you're going to burst.
Izzie: [After he comes out of the bathroom] There's no reason to be ashamed. It's normal, healthy even.
George: I am not ashamed. 'Cause I wasn't doing anything. I don't have to. I have a girlfriend.
Izzie: An imaginary girlfriend?
George: An actual girlfriend.
Izzie: You know what? It's no big deal, you don't have to lie. I get it. You have needs.
Meredith: What is going on out here?
Izzie & George: Nothing. [He walks away]
Izzie: [To Meredith] He's freaked out because I caught him playing with little Jimmy and the twins.
George: [Turns around] I have a girlfriend. [Walks away]
Izzie: OK. [Laughs]
Cristina: Hey Syph-boy!
George: You told her?
Izzie: Just Cristina.
Alex: Syph-boy. It's got a nice ring to it; kind of like Super-boy, only diseased.
Derek: [sees Addison] Meredith, I am so sorry. [Addison walks over] Addison. What are you doing here?
Addison: Well you'd know if you'd bothered to return any one of my phone calls. [Turns to Meredith] Hi. I'm Addison Shepherd.
Meredith: Shepherd?
Addison: And you must be the woman who's been screwing my husband.
Meredith: [voiceover] The thing people forget is how good it can feel when you finally set secrets free. Whether good or bad, at least they're out in the open, like it or not. And once your secrets are out in the open, you don't have to hide behind them anymore. The problem with secrets is even when you think you're in control, you're not.

[edit] Season 2

[edit] Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head [2.1]

Meredith: To be a good surgeon you have to think like a surgeon. Emotions are messy. Tuck them neatly away and step into a clean sterile room where the procedure is simple. Cut, suture, and close. But sometimes you’re faced with a cut that won’t heal. A cut that rips its stitches wide open.
Meredith: Lets play a game of whose life sucks the most. I'll win. I always win.
Cristina: You don't want to play with me.
Meredith: Oh, I do. I'll even go first. Derek is married. [George spits out his beer]
Cristina: George. Beer is dripping from your nostrils.
Meredith: Told you I'd win.
Cristina: No, you didn't win.
Meredith: Did you hear me? I said Derek is married, as in pig-headed adulterous liar married. Nothing you could say could top that.
Cristina: I'm pregnant. I win. [Joe, the bartender, collapses] Okay, maybe Joe wins.
Meredith: You're sleeping with someone?
George: What? Who?
Cristina: Why is that such a shock? Even George managed to get some action.
George: Correction, George got some syphilis.
Alex: [about George] The dude punches like my sister.
Izzie: Oh, so by your definition, you got beat up by a girl.
Derek: Look I know how you feel.
Meredith: Do you? Some how I doubt that, because if you did you would shut up and you would turn around and go back inside because you would realise that I am this close to getting into my car and running you down in the parking lot.
George: You look nice.
Meredith: I wore my new lip gloss because my ex-boyfriend's wife looks like Isabella freakin' Rossellini and I'm like... me. I'm trying to outdo her when she's the victim here, how crazy is that?
George: Not crazy, you know... smart. Lip gloss prevents chapped lips. You... was that ex-boyfriend?
Meredith: I am an evil mistress.
George: But still... you look nice.
Alex: Surgery is the only specialty where we don't waste time getting to know the patients. They're slabs of meat, we're butchers.
Izzie: They're human beings. You do know what a human being is, don't you evil spawn?
Alex: I'm not evil...unless evil turns you on.
Izzie: Did you ever wake up in the morning and realize that nobody likes you, and... well, I don't know, care?
Alex: Oh, oh, I think somebody likes me.
George: You know Joe?
Bailey: Oh, yeah. I was the only female intern my year. I didn't know anybody and nobody knew me. Except Joe. He knew me.
George: Oh. So you and Joe?
Bailey: All you people ever think about is how to get into somebody's pants. You're nasty. [Slaps George] That's why you got syphilis.
Cristina: You know what happens to pregnant interns. I'm not switching to vagina squad or spending my life popping zits. I'm too talented, surgery's my life.
Derek: So I go upstairs, as I'm walking down the hall I try to prepare myself for what I'm going to see when I walk into my bedroom. I step on a man's jacket that doesn't belong to me. And everything I know...just shifts. Because the jacket that doesn't belong to me is a jacket that I recognize, what I know now is that when I go into my bedroom, I'm not just going to see that my wife is cheating on me. I'm going to see that my wife is cheating on me with Mark, who happened to be my best friend... I walked out, flew out to Seattle.
Meredith: And then you met me.
Derek: And then I met you.
Meredith: What was I to you? The girl you screwed to get over being screwed?
Derek: You were like coming up for fresh air. It's like I was drowning and you saved me. That's all I know.
Meredith: It's not enough.
Cristina: The clinic has a policy. They wouldn't let me confirm my appointment unless I designated an emergency contact person. Someone to be there is case and...to know help me home after. Anyway I put your name down, that's why I told you I'm pregnant. You're my person.
Meredith: I am?
Cristina: Yeah, you are. Whatever.
Meredith: Whatever.
Cristina: He dumped me.[Meredith hugs Cristina] You realize this constitutes hugging?
Meredith: Shut up, I'm your person.
Meredith: They say that practice makes perfect. Theory is– the more you think like a surgeon, the more you become like one, the better you get at remaining neutral, clinical, cut, suture, close - the harder it becomes to turn it off. To stop thinking like a surgeon, and remember what it means to think like a human being.

[edit] Enough Is Enough (No More Tears) [2.2]

Meredith: I have an aunt who whenever she poured anything for you she would say "Say when!" My aunt would say "Say when!" and of course, we never did. We don't say when because there's something about the possibility, of more. More tequila, more love, more anything. More is better.
Meredith: It's not us. It's them. Them and their stupid boy... Penises. They didn't tell me they have a wife. They gave absolutely no warning that they were going to break up with you.
Cristina: It's not that Burke broke up with me. It's how he broke up with me. Like it was business. Like it was a business trans- Like he was the boss of me?!!
Meredith: He is the boss of you.
Cristina: What's worse is that I care.
Meredith: Ugh I'm going to throw up again. [Gets up and kneels over the toilet] No. Wait. False alarm.
Cristina: The problem is estrogen.
Meredith: No, the problem is tequila.
Cristina: You know I used to be all business and then he goes and gets me pregnant.
Meredith: With his stupid boy penis.
Cristina: Now I’m having hormone surges. He ruined me. I'm ruined! He turned me into this... fat, stupid, pregnant girl. Who cares! Estrogen!
Meredith: Penises. Penises, Izzie.
Cristina: Estrogen, George.
Meredith: [brushing off Derek] I am a sink with an open drain. Anything you say runs straight out. [Storms off]
George: She probably could have picked a better metaphor.
Izzie: Give her a break, she's got a hangover.
Cristina: [On Judy Dolls] I dissected them, cut off their arms, shaved their heads.
Alex: Sounds like there is a sick twisted story behind this...
Cristina: They are sexist, distorted, devil toys creating unrealistic image expectations in the porn driven minds of men.
Bailey: Swallow a bitter pill this morning, Yang? They're dolls!
Addison: We got successful, you and me. We got busy and we got lazy. We didn't even bother to fight anymore, Derek, and Mark was there and I missed you and now I'm sorry. I'm more sorry than you could possibly imagine, but at least I'm talking to you about it.
Derek: I'm a sink with an open drain, Addie.
Meredith: [to George] What are you doing with Olivia? You're letting her think you're emotionally available. You're letting her think she has a chance. And there is nothing worse in the world than thinking you have a chance when you really don't.
Derek: Addison and I are over, Adele.
Addison: It's not like we're divorced.
Derek: Practically divorced.
Adele: [to Addison] You've had counseling?
Derek: We've had adultery, that was enough.
Meredith: But why did you swallow 10 doll heads?
Patient: Because 11 would have been too much...
Meredith: There's something to be said about a glass half full. About knowing when to say when. I think it's a floating line. A barometer of need and desire. It's entirely up to the individual. And depends on what's being poured. Sometimes all we want is a taste. Other times there's no such thing as enough, the glass is bottomless. And all we want, is more.

[edit] Make Me Lose Control [2.3]

Cristina: Uhh, uhh, uhh you're stupid. Oh God. You're a stupid evil sadist. I wanna kill you.
Meredith: Endorphins are good. Endorphins are mood elevators. This is supposed to make us feel better!
Cristina: Oh God, do you feel better?
Meredith: I'm stupid.
Cristina: Slutty mistress.
Meredith: Pregnant whore.
Cristina: Sleeping with our bosses was a great idea.
Meredith: You know what's ruined for me? Ferryboats! I used to love ferryboats. And Derek's got a thing for ferryboats. Now every time I see a freaking ferryboat...
Cristina: You know what's ruined for me? Coronary artery bypass grafts! And aortic aneurysms. God I used to love aortic aneurysms.
Meredith: [voiceover] Surgeons are control freaks. With a scalpel in your hand, you feel unstoppable. There's no fear, there's no pain.
Meredith: Have you cried yet?
Cristina: Hello.
Meredith: [voiceover] You're ten-feet tall and bulletproof.
Cristina: Do you think we'd feel better if we cried? You know, just like let it out?
Meredith: Probably. Yeah.
Meredith: [voiceover] And then you leave the OR.
Cristina: Do you wanna cry now?
Meredith: No!
Cristina: OK, let's jog.
Meredith: [voiceover] And all that perfection, all that beautiful control, just falls to crap.
[seeing Alex and Izzie laughing together]
Cristina: What is she doing?
George: She's hanging out with Alex.
Cristina: Why?
George: I don't know... I think they might be friends.
George: Make the lamb stop screaming.
Bailey: Do you have a problem?
Izzie: No.
Bailey: Do you have a mocha latte?
Izzie: No.
Bailey: Then go away.
Chief: I've been sitting home for a week watching Oprah give away things on TV. - Oprah, Derek!
Izzie: It's just you think, you think you know someone, know who they are. You share a house and make wishes on eyelashes with them and we don't know each other, none of us. We're just a bunch of interns who work together. There's nothing there.
Addison: You know, the way I see it, we could deal with us in one of three ways. Option one, I could apologize, you could forgive me and come home and we could move on with our lives like adults. Or, option two, I could apologize, you could forgive me, come home, but you can bring it up to use against me whenever we argue.
Derek: Are you trying to be funny?
Addison: Satan has a sense of humor.
Derek: What's the third?
Addison: I don't know what the third option is. [Addison kisses Derek.] I just know I still love you.
Alex: Wait.
Izzie: What?
Alex: You have an eyelash. [Places eyelash on palm] Make a wish and blow it away. [Speaking to other nurse] Hey, Nurse Ratchet, there's a dead guy stinking up room 4125. Do something before he rots.
Izzie: [walking away] See, that is exactly what I'm talking about. Why are you so afraid of showing people you are a decent human being?
Derek: Maybe you should've thought of that before you gave chief to Burke and invited Satan to Seattle.
Chief: Satan?
Addison: Good morning. Richard, like the hat.
Derek: Satan speaks.
Addison: Actually I prefer to be called ruler of all that is evil. [Richard laughs] But I will answer to Satan.
Alex: I still think it's nuts having major surgery just so people can't tell how you're feeling.
Meredith: Really? You Do?
Alex: Nah... I guess not. You could talk, you know, I mean, if you need to.
Meredith: I'm fine.
Alex: You said that word so many times today, it doesn't even sound like a word anymore. Just saying you can talk to me. Because, you know, even if I repeat every word you say, no one around here likes me, they just call me a liar and a moron.
Meredith: Izzie likes you. You're blushing.
Alex: Shut up. For what it's worth, I don't know how you're still on your feet. If I found out my mom might have cancer, I'd be under the bar right now.
Meredith: You want the ugly truth?
Alex: What, you have an ugly truth? I never would have picked you to have an ugly truth.
Meredith: I'm more afraid she doesn't have cancer.
Alex: You know, liver cancer's fast. Painful, but it's fast and they give you morphine. They don't give you morphine for Alzheimer's.
Meredith: No, they don't. [Pause] What kind of person wishes their mother had cancer?
Meredith: [voiceover] No one likes to lose control, but as a surgeon there's nothing worse. It's a sign of weakness, of not being up to the task. And still there are times when it just gets away from you. When the world stops spinning and you realize that your shiny little scalpel isn't gonna save you. No matter how hard you fight it, you fall. And it's scary as hell. If there's an upside to free-falling, it's the chance you give your friends to catch you.

[edit] Deny, Deny, Deny [2.4]

Meredith: [voiceover] The key to surviving a surgical internship is denial. We deny that we're tired, we deny that we're scared, we deny how badly we want to succeed. And most importantly, we deny that we're in denial. We only see what we want to see and believe what we want to believe, and it works. We lie to ourselves so much that after a while the lies start to seem like the truth. We deny so much that we can't recognize the truth right in front of our faces.
Derek: Addison kissed me. Meredith kissed me. My girlfriend and my wife kissed me on the same day.
Bailey: McDreamy, go sit by someone who cares.
Addison: Well isn't this cozy. Can I join or are you not in to threesomes?
Meredith: I have to go.
Derek: Meredith... [To Addison] You really are Satan, you realize that right? If Satan were to take physical form he'd be you, everywhere ... all the time.
Addison: I am not Satan.
Derek: How come you haven't gotten on your broomstick and gone back to New York where you belong?
Addison: Stop being petty.
Derek: Stop being an adulterous bitch.
Addison: You know there was a time when you thought of me as your best friend—
Derek: There was a time that I thought you were the love of my life. Things change.
Addison: Derek, have you ever thought that even if I am Satan and an adulterous bitch that I still might be the love of your life?
Meredith: You've got a wife.
Derek: Yes.
Meredith: Your life is complicated.
Derek: Yes.
Meredith: I don't need complicated, I have complicated all on my own.
Derek: Yes.
Meredith: Stop saying yes.
Derek: I'll try not to make any sudden movements.
Meredith: You think this is funny?
Derek: Addison is leaving. She doesn't have any more patients in this hospital. There's no reason for her to be here.
Meredith: No reason?
Derek: None whatsoever.


George: You're officially AWOL you know.
Cristina: I'm working. I'm trying to figure out what's going on with the crazy woman on four.
George: You are the crazy woman on four.
Cristina: I made a break for freedom.
Nurse Tyler: OK Yang, how about this order: bed rest, out of bed to chair, bathroom privileges. Nothing about stealing charts at the nurses’ station.
Cristina: OK, you know what [signals to man pushing a wheelchair] Hey, hey, hey, hey give me that. [Sits down] There, satisfied? I'm out of bed to chair.
Nurse Tyler: I'm telling your intern on you.
Cristina: Meredith?
Nurse Tyler: Yeah.
Cristina: Oh, I'm so scared.
Addison: [sighs] It's hard to accept the end when you're too close. [fiddles with wedding ring] Look, I don't want someone who doesn't want me, Meredith, but if there's the slightest chance that he does... I'm not leaving Seattle.
[Cristina is crying uncontrollably]
Cristina's Mother: I knew she'd break sooner or later, it's just a matter of time.
Cristina: [yelling] I will kill her!
Meredith: We don't do well with mothers here, why don't you come back later? [escorts Cristina's mother out]
Meredith: [voiceover] Sometimes reality has a way of sneaking up and biting us in the ass. And when the dam bursts, all you can do is swim. The world of pretend is a cage, not a cocoon. We can only lie to ourselves for so long. We are tired, we are scared, denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the world. Head on, guns blazing. De Nile. It's not just a river in Egypt, it's a freakin' ocean. So how do you keep from drowning in it?

[edit] Bring the Pain [2.5]

Meredith: [voiceover] Pain, it comes in all forms. The small twinge, a bit of soreness, the random pain, the normal pains that we live with everyday. Then there's the kind of pain you can't ignore. A level of pain so great that it blocks out everything else; makes the rest of your world fade away until all we can think about is how much we hurt. How we manage our pain is up to us. Pain. We anaesthetize, ride it out, embrace it, ignore it... and for some of us, the best way to manage pain is to just push through it.

Telling Meredith that Dr.Derek Shepherd asked specifically for her:

Dr. Bailey: Hey, life is short, times are hard, the road is long, with many a winding turn.
Meredith: I don't want to have this conversation again.
Derek: Meredith...
Meredith: You didn't sign the divorce papers. Fine. I get it. End of discussion.
Derek: Meredith.
Meredith: What?!
Derek: Oh... I usually just say "Meredith" and then you yell at me. I haven’t thought past that point. I actually didn’t have anything planned. [Meredith hits him repeatedly with her purse]
Derek: Listen! Hey stop it! Ow!
Meredith: Seriously? Seriously?!
[Cristina, Meredith and Izzie are tilting their heads, watching the porn playing for the patient]
Cristina: That does not look comfortable.
Meredith: Trust me, it's not.
George: [Reading the emergency sign on the elevator out loud after it got stuck] If elevator should stop do not become alarmed. Press the button marked alarm to summon assistance. [To Alex] If they don’t want us to be alarmed why do they call the button 'alarm'?
Meredith: You should take something.
Cristina: Drugs are for babies.
Izzie: I hate Alex.
Cristina: And the non sequitur award goes to...
Izzie: I’m sorry, I hate Alex.
Meredith: I broke up with Derek.
Cristina: Burke wants to have a relationship.
Izzie: Boys are stupid.
Cristina: Yep.
Derek: [to Meredith] Look I was married for 11 years. Addison is my family. That is 11 Thanksgivings, 11 birthdays, 11 Christmases, and in one day I am supposed to sign a piece of paper and end my family? A person doesn’t do that, not without a little hesitation. I’m entitled to a little uncertainty here. Just a moment to understand the magnitude of what it means to cut somebody out of my life. I am entitled to at least one moment ... of painful doubt and a little understanding from you would be nice.
Alex: So, dude. What’s the deal with Izzie?
George: She shaved her legs for you.
Alex: And?
George: And you didn’t kiss her goodnight.
Patient: She shaved her legs for you and you didn’t follow through?
Alex: Hey I followed through, I always follow through.
George: You didn’t last night.
Alex: Mind your own business.
George: Mind... She had expectations, women have expectations, and you didn’t meet them. Hey I live with these women and every time you guys don’t meet their expectations I have to hear about it. I didn't get any sleep last night. So, you know, it is my business.
Cristina: You tell anyone I did this for you, not only will I kill you, I will sell your body parts for cash. [The patient agrees.] Okay. So. There were these women. Nurses. Three nurses. And they were... naughty. They were really, really naughty. They were three naughty nurses. Saucy, even. Saucy and bad and naughty. Three saucy bad naughty nurses. They were taking a shower. Together. Soaping each other up. And then this doctor walks in and he sees these three naughty bad nurses with these great big...

Performing a heart surgery in an elevator

Dr. Preston Burke: O'Malley...
Dr. O'Malley: Yes sir?
Dr. Preston Burke: You just flew solo.
Dr. O'Malley: Thank you Sir


Meredith: I lied. I'm not out of this relationship. I'm in. I'm so in, it's humiliating, because here I am, begging—
Derek: Meredith—
Meredith: Just, shut up. You say Meredith and I yell, remember?
Derek: Yeah.
Meredith: OK, here it is. Your choice, it's simple, her or me. And I'm sure she's really great. But Derek, I love you. In a really, really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you, love you. So pick me. Choose me. Love me. I'll be at Joe's tonight, so if you do decide to sign the papers, meet me there.
Meredith: [voiceover] Pain, you just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its own, hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed, but sometimes the pain gets you when you least expect it, hits way below the belt and doesn't let up. Pain, you just have to fight through, because the truth is you can't outrun it, and life always makes more.

[edit] Into You like A Train [2.6]

Meredith: [voiceover] In general, people can be categorized in one of two ways — those who love surprises and those who don't. I don't. I've never met a surgeon that enjoys a surprise, because as surgeons, we like to be in the know. We have to be in the know, because when we aren't, people die and lawsuits happen. Am I rambling? I think I'm rambling. Okay, so my point, actually, and I do have one, has nothing to do with surprises or death or lawsuits, or even surgeons. My point is this: whoever said "What you don't know can’t hurt you", was a complete and total moron. Because for most people I know, not knowing is the worst feeling in the world. [Sees two people with a pole cutting through them.] Okay, fine. Maybe it's the second worst.
Cristina: You tell someone I'll meet you at a bar tonight, how long exactly does that mean you're supposed to wait?
George: You think he’s really not coming?
Izzie: It is getting a little hard to watch.
Cristina: Nah, it was hard to watch half an hour ago, now it's just pathetic.
Meredith: Who's pathetic?
Cristina: What?
Meredith: [drunkenly] You who pretend to be my friends are calling me pathetic. Behind my back, in front of my face. Why don't you just dump the pig’s blood on me now and get it over with. [to herself] He’s really not coming.
George: [about Derek and Meredith] Does that mean he picked her?
Cristina: If it does, I just lost fifty bucks.
Meredith: Ow Ow Ow.
Izzie: [Pulls back curtain] What are you doing?
Meredith: I'm inserting my banana bag. Which sounds vaguely dirty but it's not.
Meredith: Before you judge me I know there was a train accident, people are very badly hurt, and that I'm a vapid narcissist when you mix me with alcohol, in case you were wondering I know that.
Chief: [sighs] Do you notice anything about this leg, Yang?
Cristina: Sir?
Chief: Such as the fact that it was shaved recently, and manicured? Does this look like a man who woke up this morning and shaved one of his legs?
Cristina: [pauses] No.
Chief: Find the man's leg, Yang. Now!
Cristina: There you are. I've been looking everywhere for you.
Burke: What is it?
Cristina: I need to find this man's leg. The chief is going to kick me out of the program if I don't. I cannot go back to Los Angeles. It's sunny there. Every. Day.
[Burke smiles]
Cristina: What? You're my boyfriend! I mean, I know I don't have much experience with this kind of thing but, aren't boyfriends supposed to help in situations like this?
Burke: Cristina, when we're on duty I can't be your boyfriend.
Cristina: OK, so when we're on duty, I can have sex with someone else?
Burke: [pause] Dr. Yang, I'm walking away now.
Meredith: Addison yelling at you in front of a patient?
Alex: She didn't exactly yell. [Pause] Fine, she's Satan’s whore.
Meredith: Thank you. So, did you yell back?
Alex: No.
Meredith: Dude, you lost your mojo.
Alex: Excuse you?
Meredith: I was trying to talk boy.
Alex: O'Malley plugs a hole with his finger and everyone walks around like he's some kind of hero. I have one off day...
Meredith: You chickened out.
Alex: I hesitated briefly.
Meredith: Why didn't you kiss Izzie?
Alex: And now I'm leaving.
Meredith: I hope you find your mojo Alex, I find you disturbing without it.
Alex: Me too.
Addison: So, have you made a decision yet, Dr. Stevens?
Izzie: Huh?
Addison: Whether or not you're going to hate me. You're Meredith's friend? I'm the wicked witch who came in and ruined her life and cheated on Doctor...wait, what is it that you guys call him?
Izzie: Uh—McDreamy...
Addison: Right. God, doesn’t that embarrass him?
Izzie: Yeah, I think it does.
Addison: So, when you decide how important it is for you to hate me...let me know.
Meredith: [voiceover] As surgeons, there are so many things we have to know. We have to know we have what it takes. We have to know how to take care of our patients... and how to take care of each other. Eventually, we even have to figure out how to take care of ourselves. As surgeons we have to be in the know. But as human beings, sometimes it's better to stay in the dark, because in the dark there may be fear, but there's also hope.

[edit] Something to Talk About [2.7]

Meredith: [voiceover] Communication. It's the first thing we really learn in life. Funny thing is, once we grow up, learn our words and really start talking the harder it becomes to know what to say. Or how to ask for what we really need.
Addison: [to Derek] I know. You're a flannel-wearing, wood-chopping fisherman. I GET IT.
Bailey: And you three--- brush up on how not to embarrass me in front of the Attendings or I'll see to it that your hearts stop beating. You clear?
George: We have to do something. Meredith has become like an exhibit like...hey... like a zoo animal...like that rare panda that everyone stares at.
Izzie: Please don't say that to her face. I think that panda died alone.
Nicole: Hi. I'm Alex's charity case.
Cristina: I like her already.
Nicole: I don't like you.
Alex: Yeah, you do.
Nicole: Jerk.
Alex: Motor mouth.
Nicole: Babysitter.
Alex: Two-wheeler.
Nicole: Now that's just politically incorrect.
Bailey: Turn around and walk away.
Derek: From what?
Bailey: From my intern.
Derek: No, I wasn’t.
Bailey: Yes you were, come on, look, you can’t do this, you don’t have the right, not anymore.
Derek: I just want to find out if she's okay.
Bailey: No, she's not. She's a human traffic accident, and everybody's slowing down to look at the wreckage. She's doing the best she can with what she has left, and I know you can't see this 'cause you're in it, but YOU CAN'T HELP HER NOW! You'll only make it worse. Walk away. Leave her to mend.
Alex: For a kiss to be really good, you want it to mean something. You want it to be with someone you can't get out of your head, so that when your lips finally touch, you feel it everywhere. A kiss so hot and so deep, you never want to come up for air. You can't cheat your first kiss, Nicole. Trust me you don't want to, 'cause when you find that right person, the first kiss...it's everything.
Meredith: [voiceover] At the end of the day, there are some things you just can't help but talk about. Some things we just don't want to hear, and some things we say because we can't be silent any longer. Some things are more than what you say, they're what you do. Some things you say because there's no other choice. Some things you keep to yourself. And not too often, but every now and then, some things simply speak for themselves.

[edit] Let It Be [2.8]

Meredith: [voiceover]In the eighth grade my English class had to read Romeo and Juliet. Then for extra credit, Mrs. Snyder made us act out all the parts. Sal Scafarillo was Romeo. As fate would have it, I was Juliet… all the other girls were jealous, but I had a slightly different take. I told Mrs. Snyder that Juliet was an idiot. For starters she falls for the one guy she knows she can’t have, then she blames fate for her own bad decision. Mrs. Snyder explained to me that when fate comes into play choice sometimes goes out the window. At the ripe old age of 13 I was very clear that love like life is about making choices. And fate has nothing to do with it. Everyone thinks it’s so romantic, Romeo and Juliet, true love, how sad. If Juliet was stupid enough to fall for the enemy, drink the bottle of poison, and go to sleep in a mausoleum, she deserved whatever she got.
Izzie: You kissed me.
Alex': Yes, I did.
Izzie: Should we?... I mean, there's a discussion that we could have... if you wanted to have one?
Alex: Izzie, I kissed you, with tongue, and I plan to do it again and again - get used to it. End of discussion.
George: You lived. We both did. Carpe diem, man. "Seize the Day!"
Fall Guy: Any chance you can make him leave?
Cristina: I really, really wish I could.
Cristina: Plus I've already spent an hour picking bird parts out of the guy. I'm over it.
George: Carpe diem.
Meredith: Right, giant zit on my forehead, and I'm beginning to look how I feel. Carpe that.
George: This is the luckiest day in the world!
Cristina: Tell that to the bird.
Bailey: I'm pregnant, you blind moron.
Chief:: You’re what?
Bailey: My heart rate is 110, I’m burning three thousand calories a day, my legs are swollen, I got indigestion and gas. Did you know carrying a boy in your uterus means you burn ten percent more calories than if you had a girl? Guess what I’m carrying. I tried for seven damn years and a month before my fellowship notifications the stick turns blue. Men... from the very beginning they just suck the life right out of you. I’m not leaving. I’m pregnant.
George: Could this place be any further away? It's like Siberia down here.
Daisy: That's because we don't like sick people.
George: You do know you're in a hospital, right?
Burke: Let's have the Chardonnay, please.
Cristina: Oh, I want Bordeaux.
Burke: The Chardonnay would be better with the Lobster.
Cristina: I'm having steak.
Burke: You...you eat red meat?
Cristina: You don't?
Burke: [during surgery] Dr. Yang, you're handling the saw.
Cristina: You won't let me pick the wine, but this you'll let me do?
Alex': [referring to a patient who is removing her breasts and ovaries to prevent possible cancer] Here's the thing - I like your rack.
Izzie: God, what is wrong with you? Why do you have to be so - what is wrong with you?
Alex': I like your rack and I'd want them around if I could have them, trust me I would, but it wouldn't be the end of the world if you got rid of them... because really, I'd want you.
[Izzie slaps him]
Alex': Ow! What was that for?
[She kisses him]
Meredith: [enters the elevator, Derek's there] I miss you.
Derek: [stands behind her and breath her in, giving her goose bumps] I can't.
[Derek walks out of the elevator]
Meredith: [voiceover] Maybe Romeo and Juliet were fated to be together, but just for a while, and then their time passed. If they could have known that beforehand, maybe it all would have been okay. I told Mrs. Snyder that when I was grown up, I'd take fate into my own hands. I wouldn't let some guy drag me down. Mrs. Snyder said that I'd be lucky if I ever had that kind of passion with someone, and that if I did, we'd be together forever. Even now, I believe that for the most part, love is about choices. It's about putting down the poison and the dagger and making your own happy ending...most of the time. And that sometimes, despite all your best choices and all your best intentions... fate wins anyway.

[edit] Thanks for the Memories [2.9]

Meredith: [voiceover] Gratitude, appreciation, giving thanks. No matter what words you use, they all mean the same thing. Happy. We're supposed to be happy. Grateful for friends, family. Happy just to be alive. Whether we like it or not.
Cristina': [about inviting Burke to Thanksgiving dinner] What was I supposed to do? Blow off my boyfriend for Thanksgiving? I tried to. He wouldn't blow. He's like something sticky that won't blow off.
George: [about his Thanksgiving, hunting with his family] I'm in the woods. With shotguns and liquor and car talk. It's like Deliverance out here!
Cristina: Meredith's a WASP, isn't she? Liquor is like oxygen for WASPs.
George: Which is...why we're out of liquor.
Joe: Hey, this is my boyfriend, Walter.
Cristina: Whatever, tell me you brought liquor.
Joe: I brought pie. Pumpkin.
Cristina: You're a bartender!
Joe: Did you bring scalpels?
Alex: [To Meredith, about telling Izzie he failed his Medical Board Exam] If I tell Izzie, she'll be nice about it, all supportive and optimistic—she might as well rip my nads off and turn them into earrings.
Meredith: I feel like one of those people who are so freaking miserable that they can't be around normal people. Like I'll infect the happy people. Like I'm some miserable, diseased, dirty ex-mistress.
Alex: A miserable, diseased, dirty ex-mistress? [Wolf whistle] That's hot. That's really hot. I feel better already.
George: Today I committed bird murder and I was forced to touch my dad's ass. I get bonus points for showing up at all.
Cristina: I brought booze.
Meredith: [voiceover] Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.

[edit] Much Too Much [2.10]

Meredith: [voiceover] When you were a kid, it was Halloween candy. You hid it from your parents and you ate it until you got sick. In college, it was the heavy combo of youth, tequila and well, you know. As a surgeon, you take as much of the good as you can get because it doesn't come around nearly as often as it should. 'Cause good things aren't always what they seem. Too much of anything, even love, is not always a good thing.
Meredith: [on the phone, about Burke's house] You're going through his stuff, aren't you?
Cristina: There's no stuff to go through. It's a freak show. I mean, you can do surgery in here. Oh, he arranged his books using the Dewey Decimal system! Mer, I'm scared.
Meredith: Get out, get out of the house—now.
[As Meredith's one night stand runs out of the house]
George: Oh, he's new.
Izzie: I shall name him: "Running Guy."
Meredith: They always look so sad when I kick them out. Seriously, why do guys not understand that when you pick them up in a bar and take them home for sex, that there are no picket fences or kids in your future?
[Cristina takes out the key]
Meredith: Burke keyed you?
Cristina: I got freaking keyed before coffee.
Meredith: What is wrong with them?
Cristina: They're like these 1950s debutantes, one dance and there's a shotgun to your head.
[Meredith's One-Night-Stand walks up]
Steve: Meredith? You work here?
Meredith: What are you doing here...um...Steve?
Steve: I'm having a little problem.
Cristina: Steve, Steve?
Steve: Actually, I'm having a big problem.
[Moves his jacket to reveal his erect penis. Cristina notices and starts staring at it. Meredith doesn't notice.]
Meredith: What?
Cristina: [Still staring] Steve, hi! Cristina.
Steve: Ever since you...and I [Meredith follows Cristina's gaze and does a double-take]...um...it won't go away.
Meredith: Cristina!
Cristina: What? It's right there, looking at me! There are so many things I could say right now — Champ!
Cristina: It's not my fault you broke the guy's penis.
Bailey: Broke his what? [Cristina and Meredith trying to evade her] Hey! Don't make me chase you down. I'm growing a person here!
Cristina: What the hell is this?
Burke: It's a key.
Cristina: Why?
Burke: Why is it a key? Are we feeling existential this morning?
Cristina: Well, if the key turns in a lock, and no one asked for the key or even wanted the key, does it make a sound?
George: Maybe it's a, a matter of v-volume?
Meredith: Volume? What's that supposed to mean?
George: Just, you know there's quality then there's quantity.
Meredith: So you think I'm sleeping with too many guys? You think I'm a slut?
George: I think you're taking some risks. I think you'll find yourself in a hole in some guys basement being ordered to put the lotion on the skin or you'll get the hose again.
Meredith: Oh come on—
George: Excuse me, I'm talking. So you want to be with Derek. You want to be, but you're not. So you try to find some replacement, some temporary way to feel better. But it's not working, and it's not going to work, because the future of meaningless one night stands and problematic penises is not what you want. You want better and you deserve better. And not every guy's a nightmare.
Cristina: Congratulations, you're flaccid.
Patient: Never thought I'd be glad to hear that.
Cristina: Excuse me- what makes you think we can live together? You don't know anything about me.
Burke: I know that you prefer an 11-blade for your IND's, I know you like your coffee from the cart by the front entrance better than the coffee in the cafeteria. I know you.
Cristina: Those are little things, details.
Burke: I know you. You don't want to move. But I can't always be the one that takes the step. Anymore steps and I'm walking away.
Cristina: [to Burke] This is where I live. My mother decorated it. I don't do laundry, I buy new underwear. And uh, the table? Six months of magazines I know I'll never read but I won't throw out. I don't wash dishes, vacuum, or put the toilet paper on the holder. I hired a maid once, she ran away crying. The only things in my fridge are water, vodka, and diet soda, and I don't care. But you do. Still think living together is a good idea?
Meredith: [voiceover] How do you know when how much is too much? Too much too soon. Too much information. Too much fun. Too much love. Too much to ask... And when is it all just too much to bear?

[edit] Owner of a Lonely Heart [2.11]

Meredith: [voiceover] Forty years ago, the Beatles asked the world a simple question: they wanted to know where all the lonely people came from. My latest theory is that a great many of the lonely people come from hospitals. More precisely, the surgical wing of hospitals. As surgeons, we ignore our own needs so we can meet our patients' needs. We ignore our friends and families so we can save other people's friends and families. Which means that, at the end of the day, all we really have is ourselves. And nothing in this world can make you feel more alone than that.
Izzie: [about Alex] He's unbelievable. I'm so glad I never slept with him. Which is his loss. Because I'm really good in bed. Mind blowing. Mind-blowingly good in bed.
Cristina: Are you trying to seduce us?
Izzie: And he sleeps with Olivia, instead of me. Olivia?!
George: Hey, I slept with Olivia.
Izzie: Well, then you both have bad taste.
George: You know, you can't say that you weren't warned. Alex has always been Alex.
Meredith: You dodged a bullet, Iz. You're better off without him.
Cristina: Why are you even surprised? You sleep with a snake, you get bit.
Izzie: Thanks, guys. . . for the support.
[Cristina kicks Izzie awake.]
Izzie: Dammit, WHAT?!
Cristina: Hell hath no fury like a girl whose non-boyfriend screws a nurse.
Izzie: [under her breath] Bitch.
Cristina: I like you bitter and pissed off. You're almost like a normal person now.
Bailey: These are preemies, they were supposed to spend another 8 weeks in the womb. Just like interns, they're not ready for the real world.
Meredith: So, you're giving up your trailer.
Derek: I'm not giving up the trailer. Is Addison telling people that I'm giving up the trailer?
Meredith: It's just funny, I just never would have pegged you for that guy.
Derek: What guy?
Meredith: You know, the marble bath, private pool, gated community guy.
Derek: Don't peg me. I'm not peggable.
Meredith: You're pegged. Deal with it.
Bailey: [to one of the quints] How you doing', you? You know I'm having' a baby too, yes I am! A little boy! Maybe you could meet him someday! How's that sound, does that sound good? [Cristina walks in; stares] Pregnancy has not made me soft. I haven’t gone soft. I don't do soft.
Cristina: Of course not, just talking to a patient.
Izzie: [about Alex] I'm telling you, Meredith was all over him.
Cristina: Seriously, she was all over him? What, like mounting him, with all the babies watching? Seriously?
Izzie: Well, she would have been if I hadn't interrupted.
George: She was talking to him.
Izzie: You don't talk to bastards who cheat on their girlfriends, George. That's the rule.
George: You weren't officially his girlfriend.
Izzie: That's not the point.
George: It is kind of the point. You don't see me getting all emotional over people I'm not dating.
Izzie: Really?! You want to go there?!
[Ominous looks all around.]
George: No.
Izzie: I'M HAVING A MOMENT HERE. DON'T MESS WITH ME.
Cristina: You're not going to have a nervous breakdown and kill yourself, are you?
Izzie: No.
Cristina: So, there's no chance you'll kill us?
[Izzie storms out.]
George: OK, that was wrong on so many levels.
Izzie: When Derek broke up with you, I never once said that you were better off without him. It's not supportive, it's condescending. I was there for you, all I ever am is there for you guys, and the one time I need you? Just go away, Meredith.
Karl (Patient): [to George] But sometimes, no matter how much you love someone, they just can't love you back in the same way. Believe me, son. Living with a woman who can't love you back ... way lonelier than being alone.
Meredith: [voiceover] Four hundred years ago, another well-known English guy had an opinion on being alone. John Donne. He thought we were never alone. Of course it was fancier when he said it. No man is an island entire unto himself. Boil down that island talk and he just meant that all anyone needs is someone to step in and let us know we're not alone. And who's to say that someone can't have four legs. Someone to play with, or run around with, or just hang out.

[edit] Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer [2.12]

Meredith: [voiceover] It's an urban myth that suicide rates spike at the holidays. Turns out they actually go down. Experts think it's because people are less inclined to off themselves when surrounded by family. Ironically, that same family togetherness is thought to be the reason that depression rates actually do spike at the holidays. Yeah, okay. Izzie doesn't count.
[After Izzie decorated the living room]
George: It looks like Santa threw up in here.
Meredith: Just— go with it, we're being supportive.
Izzie: Oh, hey! What do you think? Did I go too overboard? I know, I know sometimes I can go a little overboard.
George: No, we love it!
Meredith: It's great.
Izzie: Oh, yay! I LOVE CHRISTMAS!
Meredith: We know.
George: [about Dr. Bailey] Look at her belly! She's almost as wide as she is tall!
Meredith: Are her ankles swollen? Is that why she's waddling?
Izzie: What's gonna happen to us when she goes on leave?
Cristina: Leave? She's going on leave?
Meredith: What do you think happens when people push babies out of their vaginas?
George: Do you think we're gonna get a new resident?
Alex: Nah, They'll probably just let us all walk around unattended, see how much damage we can do.
Izzie: Yeah, well, you would know.
Justin's Mom: You hear that, baby? Santa Claus is bringing you a new heart for Christmas.
Justin: Well tell that fat ass to give it to someone else. I don't want it!
Burke: I believe there's a mind-body-spirit connection. And if Justin really doesn't want this heart, his body will reject it.
Cristina: Okay, let me get this straight. You don't just celebrate Christmas...you actually believe in Santa Claus?
George: Paging Dr. Karev-ian [laughter]
Bailey: What did you just say?
George: Ah-it, it's a joke, Kevorkian, Karev-ian...Alex Karev?
Bailey: I get the joke. I just don't think it's funny. You see this O'Malley? I make one mistake with this scalpel and this man's dead. My husband, he makes mistakes at his job all the time. As far as I know he's never killed anyone but I have. And YOU WILL. And Alex did. He made a math mistake and a man died for it. Run that past your accountant - see how he'd feel if every mistake he made, someone ended up dead. You don't have to like Alex, you don't have to care about him, but you damn well have to be on his side.
Derek: Do you know what time of year neurosurgeons are the busiest, Dr. Stevens?
Izzie: There's a time of year?
Derek: There's no hard or fast rule, but brain injuries tend to pile up around the holidays. Like our friend here. Folks fall off their roofs while they string up lights, or when they go skating for the first time in a decade, break their heads open. And every year people drive through blizzards to get to parties where they kiss germ-infected strangers under poisonous mistletoe. And then they get so drunk that they smash their heads through their windshield on their way home. Like I said, there's no hard or fast rule.
[Alex is practicing giving Cristina a breast exam, only it looks like he's groping her]
Cristina: OK, the way you're grabbing me right now, that's assault. [She takes his hand and demonstrates how to give a breast exam] This is an exam. Pat, pat, pat. [George walks in and sees]
George: What? What the hell? Does Izzie know? Does Burke know about this?
Cristina: Unbunch your panties, George, we're helping Alex study. [To Alex] Do it.
George: I can't hear you when his hand is on your boob.
Cristina: Take your hand off my boob, Alex.
Cristina: I believe in medicine. And it's a medical miracle you're alive. And medicine is a lot cooler than Santa. So I'm just saying...I think you should decide to live. Live so you can become a doctor, and you can find a way to do heart transplants without someone having to die. Or, live so you can grow up and have kids and...Raise them not to believe in Santa. That would piss your mom off. Just decide to live. Because in your case, dying really isn't the best revenge.
Alex: Why would you want to help me after what I did?
[Izzie is silent for a moment, shaking with anger]
Izzie: [yells] Because it’s what Jesus would freakin’ do!
Cristina: Okay, seriously, if you are that lonely, there are excellent vibrators. I can give you a catalogue.
Derek: I'm not saying this to hurt you or because I want to leave you, because I don't. Meredith wasn't a fling. She wasn't revenge. I fell in love with her. That doesn't go away because I decided to stay with you.
Meredith: [voiceover] There's an old proverb that says you can't choose your family. You take what the fates hand you. And like them or not, love them or not, understand them or not, you cope. Then there's the school of thought that says the family you're born into is simply a starting point. They feed you, and clothe you, and take care of you until you're ready to go out into the world and find your tribe.

[edit] Begin the Begin [2.13]

Meredith: [voiceover] Fresh starts thanks to the calendar they happen every year —just set your watch to January, our reward for surviving the holiday season is a new year. Bringing on the great tradition of new years resolutions, put your past behind you and start over. It’s hard to resist the chance of a new beginning, a chance to put the problems of last year to bed.
Meredith: Such a good dog! Who's Mommy's good boy? [Turns and looks at Izzie and George] C'mon, what are you doing, we're gonna be late.
George: Uh— We need to talk about the dog.
Izzie: That's not a dog, it's a hyena that escaped from the zoo, dressed in dog clothing.
George: Whatever. I don't chew up his clothes. I don't urinate on his bed. I don't try to mount him from behind.
Meredith: People, he's our dog. We love our dog. He loves us.
Izzie: Mount you from behind?
George: He tries to.
Izzie: You do glow.
Alex: Like the moon.
Bailey: And you can spend the day in the pit Karev.
George: Your lab work showed... have you been taking birth control pills?
Bex: If you tell my mom and dad they'll-
George: I won't! I won't—I just need to know...why? Do you have a boyfriend?
Bex: Like anyone would want to have sex with me—
George: Well...then...why?
Bex: I'm as flat as a board. I took like five of those pills a day and nothing's different. Boobs, dude.
George: You...were trying to make your breasts grow.
Bex: I wanted to be normal for once in my life.
Derek: [to Addison] There is a land called Passive Agressiva, and you are their queen.
Addison: I am fine.
Derek: Except when you're shrieking about trout.
Addison: I was not shrieking about trout.
Derek: You're right, you weren't. You were shrieking about Meredith.
Addison: No, I was shrieking about the trailer. I hate the trailer.
Derek: Oh, okay so the past three weeks have been about the trailer, not about the fact that I said I love Meredith.
Addison: Loved— you said you loved her, past tense.
Derek: Right, yes, past tense.
Addison: Well, then I have been shrieking about the trailer.
Denny: Can I ask you something personal?
Izzie: If I say no?
Denny: I'll hold my breath, which will stop my heart, killing me. You're right here, you'll be charged with murder. Lifetime in prison loved by a big old girl named Hildy.
Izzie: So my choices are homicide charges or inappropriate personal questions from a patient.
Denny: I know, kind of sucks.
Izzie: You know what, hold your breath. I'll take my chances with Hildy. I can do girl-on-girl.
Denny: Oh, you're bringing up girl-on-girl? How can I blackmail you if you bring up girl-on-girl?
Izzie: What do you want to know?
Denny: That guy Alex. You with him?
Izzie: No, not anymore and never ever again.
Denny: Good, that means I won't have to fight him for you.
Izzie: What makes you think I want you to fight him for me?
Denny: You're in love with me. I'm well-off, but not into money; I'm smart, but not a know-it-all; I'm funny, I'm really nice, I love animals— and I'm hot. I'm a catch, if you can wrap your head around the enlarged failing heart and dependency to IV meds.
Izzie: You're right. I am so in love with you. It's a shame, really, since I'm with Hildy and all.
Bailey: Yang, why are you staring at my fat pregnant belly?
Meredith: My mother is very sick and has very few good days. And I don't want her to be poked and prodded for some experimental program.
Derek: I'm just trying to help.
Meredith: Well, see this? What you’re doing, being dreamy? It doesn't help. It hurts me. It messes with my head.
Derek: I know the feeling.
Meredith: I don't doubt that. But you, you have a wife to go home to and I'm guessing she has no idea where you are right now.
Derek: No, she doesn't.
Meredith: That's what I thought.
Meredith: [voiceover] Who gets to determine when the old ends and t